A Little? Advice

Your romance with the ‘girl next door’ began with backyard baseball in 1999. It may have cooled off for quite a few years, but for the last 5 years it reignited. You’ve now navigated together through high school graduations, living far apart, living close together, college athletics, college classes and much more.

And now wedding planning is in full swing.

For you, looking forward to a wedding in June is exciting and fun with some moments of “Why do we need to worry about this detail?” mixed in. And you’ve joked (kind of) about letting you know the time and date and you’ll be there, because the details of colors, food, seating, dress fabrics, bouquets, centerpieces, and punch cups just do not interest or concern you. Well, actually anyone that knows you can definitely attest to the fact that the food details interest and concern you, but besides that, other aspects aren’t going to get you very riled up.

Marriage is also exciting and fun with some moments of “Why do we need to worry about this detail?” mixed in. Marriage is a whole different ball game on a whole different level. It’s an all-in, 100% endeavor of caring about your spouse’s welfare and health and happiness more than you ever, ever thought you were even capable of, and yes, caring about seemingly inconsequential and small details simply because your spouse cares about them. It’s making a lifelong vow to weather the storms together that will inevitably come your way.

You’re old enough to know that there have been times through the years that I have not ‘felt’ undying, passionate, blissful love toward your father. And you’re old enough to know that there may have possibly?? been times that he hasn’t ‘felt’ that love toward me….But, a critical aspect of true love is knowing that you will sometimes not FEEL 100% in love, and that it’s not a horrible thing. It should not send you into a panic, because loving someone is not always a feeling! It’s a decision, it’s action, and it’s commitment. And when you follow through with making a decision to show love, taking action that displays love, and choosing commitment to act in love…the feeling follows.

Here are three more unsolicited pieces of advice that I want to clue you in on before you say, “I do.”
1. Know that affirming your wife’s beauty, intelligence, unique God-given talents and personality is a smart and necessary facet of marriage…not because she’s needy, but because she’s human.
2. Know that if you strive to love Jesus with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, then loving her with the love that God planned for marriage to consist of will extend from that.
3. Know that God will extend a special kind of blessing if you pray with and for each other.

As far as your dad offering advice? Well, if you want advice on how to just listen to your wife’s problems without trying to solve them, umm, yeah don’t go to him for that. And good grief, do NOT go to him for advice on how to hang up clothes and keep your side of the closet clean. But if you want advice on how to make your wife feel like she’s the most important person in the room or on the planet, he’s your man. And if you want advice on putting God first, family second, and all else third, your father is THE guy. He happens to be a fantastic, Godly husband.

Tyler, I have a whole bunch of confidence in your ability to become a fantastic, Godly husband as well! I’ve loved you like crazy since I knew you existed, and I’ve been blown away by your true determination, bold faith in Christ, and sincere desire to encourage others to reach their potential. Those qualities are going to bode well for marriage. Your fiancé is faith-filled, talented, and driven, and I foresee an amazing life together for you two! I’m so happy that the path you two travelled led you to each other. You are on your way to an adventure that you’ll love, with a woman that you love, following a God that you both love.

End of unsolicited advice. Most likely. 🙂


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