Monthly Archives: June 2019

A Different Miracle

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“A Different Miracle,” is a song I wrote in honor of my niece, Rachel, and her family. Rachel, her husband, Shawn, and their three beautiful daughters live in Kansas. Amelia is 4, Laurel will be 3 in July, and Caroline is one-and-a-half. To say that their household is busy is an understatement. To say it is entertaining and that they could be one of the most highly-watched reality TV programs (based on personal experience and Facebook videos) is also an understatement. 😂

Before Laurel (Lolo) was born, Rachel and Shawn were made aware of potential challenges she would be born with. The range and extent of the struggles she will continue to endure is a mystery, but they, as a family, face them head-on and are grateful for every moment they get to experience with her. As Rachel says, “we’re so happy watching her enjoy life and love her sisters.” Rachel and Shawn are without a doubt her greatest cheerleaders, advocates, nurturers, and protectors, and all who know them are inspired by them.

This song, “A Different Miracle,” came about because of a conversation I had with my sister, Vicki, Rachel’s mom. We were talking about prayer for a miracle of healing in regard to Lolo’s situation. I remember we discussed the fact that there ARE miracles happening; not the miracle of healing that many of us have asked for…BUT…God’s presence has been felt and seen in miraculous ways…  Continue reading →

When Expectations in Marriage Take Over

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This is an “In case you missed it” post that I would like to share with you. Last month, I had the honor of being a guest contributor on AWifeLikeMe.com where it originally appeared: Link to original post     (***I would love hearing your feedback on this…this was a tough topic to share about.)

 

When I was twenty, the future I dreamed of included a loving husband and four kids. By the time I was twenty-nine, my husband and I excitedly welcomed our fourth child into our home, and we were living that dream life.

 

However, in my early thirties, my feelings and my reality were not in sync. Looking back, I can safely say I was in the midst of a mild depression. The blessings in my life were somehow not enough, and I felt something was missing. I began to look for and expect that missing piece to be found in my husband.

 

One memorable morning, my husband and I sat on the edge of our bed. Tears streamed down my face as I once again expressed that I was struggling with nearly constant sadness. I will never forget the defeated look in his eyes.

 

Numerous times before that day, he had lovingly pointed out the positives, embraced me, and prayed both for me and with me. But on this particular day,  when my tear-filled eyes locked with his, I realized he was weary and out of ideas about how to satisfy an unfair expectation I had unintentionally placed on his shoulders. Somewhere along the way, I had started looking to my husband to be the solution to my feelings of emptiness.

 

Confiding in my husband about my lack of joy was part of the covenant of marriage, but looking to him to be the solution was not contained in the vows we made to each other back in 1992.

 

Like the line from the movie, “Jerry Maguire,” I was looking to my husband to complete me. In this famous scene, when Tom Cruise’s character declares to Renee Zellweger’s character that she completes him, many viewers see it as the ultimate romantic gesture.

 

But in real life, it is an extraordinary amount of pressure to thrust upon anyone; especially someone we deeply, dearly love. Not only this, it is unfair to ask a person to be for us what God can only be. But here I was, seeking to find in my husband a fix for my empty.

 

I wish I would’ve known that as a wife, looking to my husband for my source of purpose, joy, or identity would only bring disappointment and frustration. And in my case, a low-level depression.

 

Friends, we have a promise-keeping God, and one of His promises is that we can indeed possess complete joy.  God’s Word assures us that our journey to complete joy starts by remaining in an obedient, loving relationship with Jesus.

 

John 15:9-11 (NIV) says, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

 

God goes above and beyond, because a different version of the bible (the NLT) reads, “our joy will overflow.”

 

Let us never burden our husbands with the impossible task of completing us. How wonderful it is that God truly wants us to look to Him to do that. Let us rejoice that He is willing to fill us to overflowing!

 

This truth is freeing and life-giving. God has what your heart longs for. Turn to Him, and see your heart come alive.

 

A note for anyone struggling with depression: the church has historically not been an advocate for mental health. We do not want you to read this and think there must be something wrong with you, because you are looking to God for joy, but still not experiencing it. Please know that sometimes, like in my case, my feelings (of low-level depression) were due to my misplaced source of joy. But for you, it may be due to a chemical or hormonal imbalance, or due to a traumatic brain injury, which may possibly require medication. If you believe you may be suffering from depression, we encourage you to seek the care of a professional to help you seek the Lord in navigating your own unique journey of healing.

 

Wife Step: Spend five minutes alone with God, sharing your heart with Him. Tell Him how you desire new joy in your heart and in your life. Bare your soul to Him and tell God how you’re struggling with your expectations of your husband. He wants to hear, and He wants to fill you with His presence and joy.

 

Prayers (#3 of 3) For Your Husband

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This is the third post in a series of three printable prayers for spouses!

I firmly believe praying for our spouse is one of the most important things we can do to strengthen our marriage. I want to encourage you to begin or continue (whichever the case may be) taking time each day to pray for your spouse or significant other.

(Praying together is also a faith-building relationship-strengthening activity in marriage and there will be an upcoming blog post about that!)

Here are three prayers based on the book of James, chapter 1: 19-21, 22-24, and 26-27.

Scroll down for a printable that includes these prayers!

Also printable #1 and #2 are included at the end of this post!

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. James 1:19-21

Dear Lord, fill my husband with Christlike gentleness and lovingkindness. Before he reacts to potentially volatile situations, instruct him how to be attentive to and considerate of all viewpoints. May he be intentional in becoming more like You: quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Lord, show him how to deliberately separate himself from the rampant evil in this world. Produce in him a righteousness that glorifies You, and lead him toward Your will and Your way. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. James 1:22-24

Dear Lord, develop in my husband a passion for diving into and studying Your Holy Word. Teach him to earnestly listen for Your voice as he strives to remain on the path You designed for him. May he allow Scripture to direct every aspect of his life. I pray he will wholeheartedly enjoy the freedom that living for You provides. Lord, reveal to me how to be his trusted source of encouragement as he learns to surrender to You more and more. Generously bless his devoted obedience to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1: 26-27

Dear Lord, make my husband’s relationship with You his first priority. Instill in him the ability to control his tongue and speak with Christlike wisdom and love. I pray that the manner in which he speaks, acts, and treats others will influence them for You. May he be compelled to reach out to those in need, and may Your mercy, generosity, and love be visible through his actions. Lord, guard his heart from becoming distracted or gripped by the sin in this world. Help him to boldly walk in integrity. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Here is the link for these prayers. Download them, print them, tape them on your mirror or use as a bookmark, etc.

Click here for the 2nd printable in this series!

Click here for the 1st printable in this series! 

 

Prayers (#2 of 3) for Your Husband

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(This is the second post in a series of three printable prayers for spouses. Be watching in a few more days for the third post!)

I would venture to say that praying for our spouse is one of the most important things we can do to strengthen our marriage. I want to encourage you to begin or continue (whichever the case may be) taking time each day to pray for your spouse or significant other.

(Praying together is also a faith-building, relationship-strengthening activity in marriage and there will be an upcoming blog post about that!)

I would like to share three prayers based on the book of James chapter 1:9-10, 13-15, and 17.

Scroll down for a printable that includes these prayers!

Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. James 1:9-10

Dear Lord, may my husband clearly see every blessing You have granted to him. No matter what his current circumstances are, help him to be thankful to You for those blessings. May his grateful spirit be emulated by his loved ones. Put in him a Christ-like contentment whether he is in a season of need or of having all that he hopes for. Lord, stir in him a concern for those that are struggling and a desire to come alongside them in Christlike support and love. 

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1:13-15

Dear Lord, I pray that my husband will plainly see the dangers of sinning against you. Replace any of his sinful desires with a longing for a thriving relationship with You. May false promises of fulfillment through sinning not appeal to him, and may he instead be attracted to the genuine fulfillment of living a Christ-following life.

May he refuse to put himself in positions where temptation may be difficult to avoid. If he commits sin, teach him to take responsibility, and help him to humbly accept the forgiveness and restoration You readily extend. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Dear Lord, Thank You for entrusting my husband with countless blessings. Help him to be mindful of the fact that all good gifts come from You. I pray he will always give You the glory for those gifts, whether big or small. May he be a man who faithfully and openly praises You, and may he inspire others to praise You as well. In this world of disorder and confusion, reassure my husband that You are unchanging, constant, and in control. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

***Click here for a PDF with these prayers. You can download them or print them out. Tape them to your mirror or use as a bookmark, etc.!

***There are 3 more prayers from James chapter 1 that I will be sharing with you in the next few days…be watching for them!

Here is a link for the first PDF of prayers for your husband from James 1:2-6